Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize
