I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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