You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
