This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
