i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
