discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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