I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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