I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
