I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize