i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize