i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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