Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
