I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
