He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Randomize
