So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize