i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Randomize