Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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