I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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