i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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