i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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