after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
