Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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