Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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