well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
