god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
