Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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