he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
