Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
