its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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