she was so not down for the gang bang
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Randomize
