I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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