the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize