Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
