He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
