Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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