In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize