I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
