somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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