i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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