I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
