Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It was confusing and full of hummus
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
