I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
