who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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