Banned from zoo.
Again?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
