problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
