cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize