i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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