yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
