At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
