I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
