Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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