I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Never underestimate the power of titties
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
