john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
