I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
