i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
