Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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