Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
