Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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