Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Randomize
