My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
you mean i was at the winter classic?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
